what do I really want in life?

I don't know why I want to blog now. There's tons of homework there waiting for me.
Just thinking about my future, not the very far future, but the near future.
Am I going to do graduate school? Will I be able to find an internship, a job after I graduate in 1 and half year time? All these kinds of questions are keep appear in my head nowadays. I know I shouldn't think that much now. All I need to do is to focus on my current classes. Do well on these classes are the first step before I can continue on anything.

Just a few months ago, I was totally not worrying about all these, I thought all these will just come naturally. All I was worrying at that time was relationship. Looking at classmate got married in her 19s, I start to worry about my relationship, my marriage. I was just being too immature. I believe successful people do plan things ahead. Bill Gates did not drop out from Harvard just because he wants to start his business. He probably already have everything in mind like how he going to carry out his creation.

But there's also another thought behind the first one. Why do I need to be so successful? I am all in all women. I have to get married, I need to take care of my children, I might just be a housewife after I get married. My dad keeps telling me that women must put 80% of her energy on family and 20% on career. I thought this two can be balanced. However, there also no statistics or real life example that can show any women actually balanced both. After that, I start to think what do I really want in life? The answer is not certain yet. Maybe my whole life is about finding the answer to this question.

The photo is taken in Harvard with John Harvard, the founder of Harvard University. Those people who are taking photos with him are most probably like me, thinking"let's take a photo with john harvard, since Harvard is beyond my reach" (ps. look at his left shoe, look how bright it is)